Flight
Sunday, February 19, 2023
I hate flying.
I didn’t used to. Having parents on opposite sides of the country meant that I flew a lot as a kid. And I flew alone. It wasn’t until I had my daughter that I started to become a nervous flyer. I remember the first flight I took after she was born. My ex, his kids, and our daughter went to Disneyland for the first time for my daughter’s first Christmas. She was only 11 months old, so she sat on my lap. When we took off, I experienced a fear that I had never felt before. I thought that maybe it was a fluke. Thankfully, the flight down was only an hour, but it was a terrifying hour with my head full of the worst case scenarios. The next time I flew, it was just me and the kiddo when she was a little older than two. The flight was from California back to Pennsylvania, with a layover in St. Louis. That was a terrible flight. Not only was I flying alone with my daughter, but a toddler still in diapers for a total of 7 hours (including the layover). I hated every second. Since, we’ve flown quite a few times. We’ve been back to Pennsylvania a couple more times, Southern California quite a few times, Los Vegas, and even Europe. It never gets easier, although it’s worse when she’s not with me.
On top of not being a fan of flying, I HATE airports. Like someone with Alzheimer’s, I seem to always book early morning flights. Spending the bulk of the day flying isn’t appealing, and I don’t like landing at night, but I can NEVER sleep before a flight. I constantly wake up, scared to death that I’m going to be late a miss the flight. As a person with anxiety, dealing with check-in, all the people, security, and being in a suffocating metal tube with a bunch of strangers, it brings me to the breaking point. It doesn’t help that my daughter and I seem to feed off of each other’s mood. It usually leads to both of up being stressed and pissed off. This time, her best-friend got to witness the whole debacle…. oh, and did I mention that one of the wheel on my suitcase broke?
At last, we arrived in Southern California. I did have to argue with the hotel front desk, but finally got checked in. I took the (very exhausted) girls to lunch, then grocery shopping before we got back to the room. The girls went to the pool and hot tub while I took a much needed nap. Now, they’re both out and I’m wide awake.
At least we made it.