Exhausted

Sunday, December 25, 2022

I have no one to blame but myself.

For some reason, I always volunteer to host holidays, especially Christmas. I like to do brunch, although I have made dinner in the past. Over the last few years, it’s always seemed to be brunch (except for 2020 when we were social distancing). I love to cook, I love to decorate, and cooking means that I don’t have to do much socializing because I’m so busy. But being busy comes with a lot of stress. Did I time everything right? Did I make enough? Did I buy everything I need? Did I get enough choices for those that have dietary differences? Is it tasty? Why won’t everyone stay out of my kitchen? How many times do I have to say that I don’t need help for them to leave me alone? Why do they all have to be so loud? Would wearing my headphones be rude? So much stress.

This year, there were 16 people. Nope, that’s not a typo. It was the five of us (me, the boyfriend and collective children), his parents, my parents, his mom’s roommate/bff, his brother and brother-in-law, his brother-in-law’s father, one of my aunts and two of her children. I did have to have my step-mom cut up strawberries and get the croissants on the sheet to heat up in the oven. Considering she has the same aversion to socializing, I think it was more me helping her than the other way around.

All in all, I think it went well. Everyone left full. And everyone left by 3. That gave me time to relax. The kids all disappeared into their rooms with their gifts, the boyfriend set up the PS5 - the kids’ big gift, and I immediately changed back into my pjs. The boyfriend’s brother, his husband and husband’s father did come over later that evening to watch Polar Express, but I bowed out and painted.

I think this painting is a good representation of the chaos of Christmas… now I need to sleep.