Fat.

Thursday, December 29, 2022

Nothing fits.

I got tired of putting on clothes in the morning that no longer fit. I’m tired of looking at things that looked good on me a few months ago. I have ballooned. I am pudgy, and chunky, and fluffy, and all the other words. Basically, I’m fat again. Like a damned yo-yo. So, I went through my closet and boxed up anything that I knew was no longer my size. I probably boxed up 2/3’s of my closet. Which made me cry and feel like absolute crap.

I told myself that I was going to go back on my Optavia (by “go back”, I mean start all over again) on January 1st. Like a cliché, make my New Year’s Resolution to lose weight. I have nine months until my show, and I want to fit into my clothes by then. All that to say that for the holidays, I ate like I was never going to eat again. I ate so much chocolate, I don’t know how I’m not diabetic. I can’t remember the last time I had a healthy salad or steamed vegetables.

Once again, I have no one to blame but myself.