On the brink

Thursday, March 16, 2023

I’m on the brink… I can feel it.

I feel like I’m standing on the ledge of a cliff, looking over, deciding if I should jump or turn around. Considering how afraid of heights I am, it feels even worse than it sounds. I feel like every decision I make has dire consequences, which means that I’m fighting the urge to bury my head and pretend the world doesn’t exist. Maybe if I don’t make a noise, everyone will forget about me. I can retreat into the shadows, unnoticed by all.

That’s a bad habit of mine… trying to ignore the situation and hoping it will just go away. You’d think that after almost 41 years of life, I would’ve learned by now that everything comes back to bite me in the ass. But, alas, like a true insane person, I keep doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different outcome. What I actually need to do is to snap out of it, buck up, and get my shit together.

I don’t want to fall over that cliff.