Mama Bear

Monday, March 27, 2023

Parenting is hard.

There’s not much that will rip your heart out quite like seeing your child suffer and not being able to do anything about it.

My poor kiddo. I would never want to be a teenager now-a-days. Never. Between the decline in public education, the pressures of being perfect, the stress of social media, I’m not sure I would’ve made it. I knew something was up when I got home. She didn’t utter a word and looked like the world was on her shoulders. When it was time to leave for her softball lesson, she broke.

With my daughter’s dad dealing with his wife’s cancer for the last two years, my kiddo barely gets to see him. It’s taking it’s toll on her. I sat and held her hand while she broke down because she misses him. I silently let her vent and get her tears out, a while feeling a mixture of helplessness, heartbreak, and anger. The anger? It’s all towards him. Please, don’t get me wrong, I feel for his situation. I understand that taking care of his wife is time consuming. But here’s the thing… he live just 10 minutes away. He’s off three days a week. You cannot tell me that he has no time to spare for his 16-year-old daughter. Make a damned effort.

While my daughter was at her lesson, I texted him. I will admit to typing out how I really feel, unfiltered, but then deleting it. You should be very proud of me. I retyped the message and was very diplomatic in the way that I requested he spend more time with his daughter. I emphasized that she’s 16, which means we only have two years before she goes off to college and the opportunity to be with her is gone. He didn’t respond. Not that I expected him to.

When we got home, I went to check on her, and heard her crying in her room. She was on the phone with her dad and then her sister. Her dad told her he’d make more of an effort to come see her and pick her up for a visit, and her sister said she would pick her up tomorrow and take her up to see her step-mom, possibly for the last time (the prognosis isn’t good).

I hope things change.