Split

Friday, November 25, 2022

It’s getting bad.

I didn’t get to paint yesterday and I’m seriously upset about it. I was up from 7am until 11pm and I didn’t stop all day. Between making the Thanksgiving meal, prepping the house, getting ready, dealing with issues from my daughter’s father, mowing the front lawn, digging out the Christmas Decorations, starting to put up said decorations, I put up 17,000 steps, and I did not leave my house.

I woke up this morning and things were bad. Really, really bad. My head is back in that dark place where there are thoughts that I don’t want to say and send out to the Universe. I texted my step-mom.

My daughter and I headed over to my parents house around 11am to take over leftovers from Thanksgiving - I made enough food for an army. Much to my surprise, my step-mom had started to pull out boxes to go through that were leftover from when my Grandma passed last year. Oh boy, there are a LOT of boxes, and they were ALL Christmas decorations.

That kept me busy for quite a few hours. Then I headed home with what I decided to keep from those boxes… enough to fill my back seat and half of my trunk. I spent most of the rest of the night putting up my new decorations. My house seriously looks like Santa’s Workshop. I only had enough time for a paint pour.

I used a lot of the same colors as Wednesday, and decided I wanted to try a double canvas pour. Using a flowering cup in the middle, I poured. The differences of the two, yet how they go together, seem to correspond with how I’m feeling. Like I’m splitting down the middle.