Biting my tongue

Sunday, April 23, 2023

I’m biting my tongue until it bleeds.

I slept on the couch last night. I just couldn’t take the silent rejection anymore. He knows I’m upset, but I doubt he knows why. That’s because I can’t bring myself to talk about it. I want to. I even wrote out an email - yes, that’s how we communicate during an argument, and yes, I know it’s not healthy.

Instead, I channeled all of my pent up frustration into productivity. I took the dog to get his nails clipped. Washed my car and vacuumed it out. Did four paint pours. Cleaned the house. Finished my and my daughter’s laundry. Washed the pile of dishes that aren’t dishwasher safe and have been sitting there too long. Cleaned out my closet. Even cleaned off my nightstand, which is usually a total chaotic disaster. On the downside, it’s not even 8pm and we’re still in awkward silence.

I really just need to spill it, already.