Suffocating

Thursday, August 3, 2023

I feel like I can’t breathe.

Between my dogs declining health, financial issues, weight struggles, health issues, workload, pressures, stress, anxiety about my exhibit next month, no longer having a steady routine at home, I feel as if the weight of it all is pressing down, suffocating me.

I’m starting to retreat into myself, again. I can feel it. My only escape from reality is a combination of creating art while listening to Sleep Token over and over with noise canceling headphones on. Those headphones have become my security blanket. They block out the noise from the outside world and quiet the noise in my head. I can tell that it’s bothering the boyfriend. My daughter is also showing concern. I just want to feel normal. I don’t know how.

I need air.