Chronic

Friday, August 4, 2023

Why does my depression have to be chronic?

The thing about chronic depression is that it never truly goes away. Nope, it just hides for a bit until one day “BAM”, it jumps out and punches you in the face. Sometimes I think that I have a grasp on it. Sometimes I believe that I know what causes it. I think I’m just fooling myself.

I had no meetings today (rare occurrence) and there was no one in the office. It was nice and quiet. I got a lot accomplished, but at the end of the day, I felt as if I did nothing all day. My little black raincloud followed me home. I know the boyfriend is worried. The way he acted, the tip-toeing, the looks of concern. I spent most of the evening on the verge of tears… a few did escape. I can’t shake it. I can’t just snap out of it.

At least I see my doctor next week.