Friends

Saturday, July 8, 2023

I may not have a lot of friends, but the ones I have, I cherish.

Being an introvert with social anxiety, I’ve never had a lot of friends. Not even a lot of acquaintances. Sure, there are people I know and that I may smile or wave at if I see them, but I’m not about to start a conversation. Besides, most of them are either work colleagues or other softball parents. I also despise chit-chat. I would rather walk away or stand in uncomfortable silence than making small talk. I also try my best to avoid social gatherings of any kind. I may say I’ll show up to a function, but chances are, I won’t be able to bring myself to actually go. Even the thought makes me nauseous.

I can honestly say that I have had three close friends in the last ten years. One of them I never see because she is busy with two young kids and lives an hour and a half away. One of them I haven’t seen or heard from in a year, since she and her family moved to Kentucky. Then, there’s Amanda. It’s miraculous that we became friends, considering we’re both not people persons. It probably wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for our daughters.

Both Amanda’s daughter and my daughter have been playing softball since they were itty bitty. When my daughter was in minor’s little league, we changed leagues because we moved in with the boyfriend and changed districts. That’s were my kiddo met Amanda’s kiddo. But, it wasn’t until their last year of minors, did Amanda and I meet. Both girls were selected for the All Stars team. The head coach held a “team bonding” party at his father-in-law’s house. As much as I tried to get out of it, my kiddo won out, and (literally) dragged me in. We we got out to the back yard pool area, my kiddo and one of her teammates continued to drag me over to another mom, who was sitting in the corner with the same “I would rather be anywhere else” look on her face. I sat down and the girls looked at us and said, “Talk,” then left to go swim. Over the next couple hours, the mom and I bonded over our mutual distain for the politics of little league, and how we both didn’t want to be there. When the girls were finally ready to leave, we all left together and my daughter turned and said, “Well, are you friends yet because, Mom, you really need friends.” Ouch. During the next few weeks of All Stars, I found myself often sitting with or near the other mom… Amanda, and her husband, son, and mom. I found that I genuinely liked all of them.

A year later, our girls made it to the same 12U Travel Ball team. As our daughter’s got closer, so did we. Now, five years later, Amanda is the closest friend I have left. So, it’s no surprise that as I find myself with the need to vent out all of my life’s b.s., I spend my morning sitting in Starbucks with her.

I have to have a least one person to help keep me sane.