Why do I torture myself?

Saturday, October 8, 2022

I’m convinced that I sabotage myself on a regular basis. Like on some subconscious level, I feel I must pay penance for some past crime. Why else would you explain drinking a venti latte at 7:30pm, after several cups of coffee all afternoon and that was AFTER realizing I forgot to take my Adderall this morning so I took it at around noon. As exhausted as I am, and the fact that I have to get up at 6am tomorrow for a photoshoot, you would think that I would’ve planned better. But nope. Here I am. 11pm and WIDE AWAKE.

Makes sense that I would want to try Mandala painting. SMH. I have NEVER had enough patience for any type of pointillism art. It was the lowest grade I ever received in art class. It’s straight up torture for someone with ADHD.

Now, what you have to do is have exact measurements, evenly apply the dot, and make a consistent pattern.

Yeah, that sounds like me. I hope you picked up on the sarcasm.

I again took one of my first painting, one of the really dark ones, and tried to brighten it. It’s not THAT bad. And yes, I know, you can still see the chalk marks. I’ll erase them… eventually.