I’m too tired for this

Saturday, October 8, 2022

She woke me up at the butt crack of dawn this morning. Who did? My daughter. She sent me a text:

“Set your alarms. We ARE going to the gym. Enough of this excuse that excuse. We got to make a stand for ourselves. IT’S TIME WE STAND UP FOR JUSTICE. HELP OURSELVES. WE NEED TO DO THIS FOR US. We will go at 8.”

Turns out she wasn’t joking. I am tired. I am sore. I DIDN’T WANT TO GO! But I did. I wasn’t happy about it. But I went. I walked my tired ass on the treadmill for an hour. And yes, I know, exercise is supposed to boost your serotonin and improve your mood… blah, blah, blah. You know what else boosts my mood? SLEEP.

After she made me go to the gym, I made her go shopping. For reference, she HATES shopping. We went to Jamba Juice and then Michaels, so she wasn’t too upset. Which means I’m still not even.

After spending the rest of daylight putting up Halloween decorations, decorations that have been siting in the totes on my porch for 3 weeks, I felt the need to paint.

I didn’t start with a blank canvas. This is one of my earlier paintings. I am tired… which is why I didn’t start with a blank canvas. I tried mixing glitter with gesso and coating the painting. While I do love glitter, I wasn’t feeling sparkly and it just didn’t feel right. So I added bursts of color at the corners. That’s how I feel, like I’m going to burst. With what? I don’t know. For fun, I added some purple and gold leafing, but it looked out of place. It reminded me of a schism in space, or like a shiny astroid belt. It needed to glow like kryptonite. Then it looked weird, so I pained the negative space between black.

I am that astroid belt. I am that schism in space. I am tired.