I don’t wanna

Wednesday, July 12, 2023

I couldn’t make myself leave the house today.

I feel a bit bad. The boyfriend’s dad’s birthday was yesterday, and they’re all going out to lunch today to celebrate. They didn’t yesterday because the boyfriend had jury duty and then he went on a man-date with his bestie to see Les Claypool (amazing bassist and lead singer of Primus). However, I didn’t want to go. It had nothing to do with his dad, I like him, he’s a good guy and we always have interesting conversations about cooking. I just couldn’t bring myself to leave the house. It didn’t help that my insomnia is back and I got about 4 hours of sleep. Oh well, it is what it is.

My kiddo also left today. She and her bestie are on a camping trip and won’t be back until Sunday. When she leaves for more than a day or so, it’s a big production when she leaves. First, she smothers her cat… then, she smothers me. I know that, even though she’s 16, she still has separation anxiety when it comes to me. I am serious when I wonder how she’s going to handle going away to college. I’m going to get a million calls. She always needs to know where I am, so there’s also a chance that I’ll need to send her my daily itinerary, just so she can concentrate on her school work. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably take it worse than her, though. I’m going to have some serious empty nest anxiety. I get anxiety even thinking about it.

Forget not leaving the house, I can’t even seem to leave my head.