Worst. Morning. Ever.

Friday, January 6, 2023

I thought I was going to die.

I woke up around 5am this morning with the absolute worst Charlie horse I’ve ever had. EVER. I woke up practically screaming. I was tossing around, trying whatever I could to make the pain stop. I scared the hell out of the bf. I shot out of bed to stand up in hopes that stretching the calf would calm it down. It subsided enough that I could breathe. I then walked into our bathroom… that’s where it all went to hell.

I was coming down from the pain, and sat down to do my business. As soon as I did, I could feel that I was about to pass out. I absolutely HATE fainting. Since it wasn’t the first time I’ve fainted, and not the first time fainting while sitting on the toilet, I laid my head down on the toilet paper roll holder so that I didn’t fall face first on the floor with my pants around my ankles - which I have done. No sooner did lay my head down and I passed out.

I don’t know how long I was out. It felt like hours, the bf said it was probably seconds since he said I wasn’t in there long. It took quite a bit to rouse myself out of it. When I did, I was dizzy, nauseous, and it felt like I was having a heart attack. I managed to pull my pants up, but when I tried to get up to open the door, my body said, “Nope.” I reached over, while still sitting, opened the door, and got myself laying on the floor. Half of me was still in the toilet room, half of me was on the carpet. I yelled out to the bf, “Something is really wrong.” He immediately rushed over, as did my dog. Of course, neither of them could do anything.

The bf went to get me water, and while he was gone, as I was laying face first on the carpet, I thought, “This is it. I’m going to die. This is how I’m going to die. Laying on the floor. My daughter is going to grow up without a mother.” When he got back, I was just able to get my head up enough to take a sip.

When my heart started to beat regularly, the bf helped me back into bed. I was still dizzy, and I was terrified to fall back asleep. I had him message my boss and supervisor. I dictated while he typed and read back the replies. I knew there was no way I was driving an hour to the office. I wound up falling asleep and didn’t wake up until 10:30.

I managed to make my way downstairs, turn on the computer, and join (camera off) a couple meetings I had. It wasn’t until around 1 or 2 that I started to feel normal again.

I always wear my FitBit. I have for years and years. It occurred to me to check my heart rate (see below). You can see the second I went down.

It was the worst. Morning. EVER.