Cracking open

Thursday, January 5, 2023

Today would’ve been my Gram’s 90th birthday.

When I was born, I had 4 Great-Grandmothers and both sets of Grandparents. By the time I was 35, I was down to my 2 Grandmas - Gram and Grandma O. Then, in the fall of 2019, my Gram passed. I found out via a Facebook post from my brother. What a crappy way to find that out. He didn’t even bother to call me. It took me messaging him after his vague post to find out.

Gram loved to talk on the phone. She would always call me in the evening. Since there’s a three hour difference between Pittsburgh and Sacramento, I would be the only one she knew was awake when it was 11pm, her time. For years, she would say how much she wanted to come back out to California to visit. It would have to be by train, she was terrified of flying, and she couldn’t go alone because of her health. I really regret that she was never able to.

I think about her often. The last time I saw her in person (she lived in Pennsylvania), was after my Pap passed in 2017. I visited for a few days for her. I knew by her look, her health, that it would most likely be the last time I saw her. I made sure to get pictures of her with my daughter, and her with the two of us.

I miss her calls. I miss her stories… I miss her.